What’s important?

Dear World,

I have just been thinking what is most important in my life, and I still don’t know what is. I mean, there’s my story, my family, and the few friends I have. My online friends are more important to me than my RL friends because my RL friends are never around. Jet and Shadie are my loves, without them I’d be insane. Insaner.

Twitter has become my savior too, thanks for Jet for forcing me to sign up. Met some uber cool British people on there and it’s a fun place to rant without worrying about being judged like I do on Facebook.

But what is truly important, World? That is what I want to know. My story has consumed me, as it always has. I’m broke now because I splurged on a new netbook so I can edit my novel on my lunch breaks. I shut off my bestest friends today, Jet and Shadie, so I can spend the whole day editing. Or that was the plan. I got a bit depressed and spent the whole day sleeping. I’ve been sleeping way too much, World, but I always feel tired. Tired. And fat. And lazy.

I just don’t know what to do with myself. Nothing has made me happy lately, and I fear I won’t be happy until I get a new job, and I fear I won’t get a new job. What do I do, World? This depression is getting worse and I can’t really afford help. The worst part about it is no one really cares. Oh they all say they do. But let’s face it. Human beings are selfish creatures. No it’s true, we are. Even I have my selfish moments and I’m one of the more patient people I know aside from my mother. So I don’t know what to do. I don’t see the point, I never found the point and editing my story has me looking for the point again since the main character is dying. His death is making me think of what I am doing with my life and I am doing nothing, wasting it.

So World, what do you find important? That’s what I want to know 🙂

Sorry for the emo rant, I have just been feeling really down lately. Nothing is going right and it won’t go right for a while. I need a new job, World, say prayers! Not that they work x.x.

Peace,

Ces

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